Friends don't let friends blog buzzed...Volume 2

Good Evening Babes in Blog Land...Why the buzz? Why Volume 2? and why tonight?

It has been one hell of a week!  I broke a tooth, a perfectly good one that was just minding its' business until I tried having a 'healthy' snack and bit into an almond.

During my tooth repair I was being bombarded on my Blackberry from one major pain in my ass and a second fairly big pain in my ass!  I do not like to put a certain group of people in one category and forget about them.  I have tons of good friends who are stay at home moms that aren't crazy, but I am dealing with a few of them in one of the organizations I volunteer for and they are nothing short of freaking crazy.  I have one woman I am dealing with who was asked by a male committee member why an event cost $5.00 per person.  She responded with an effing 3 page dissertation and then sent a follow up email on the subject and was shocked when this man didn't respond! Really now? are we really surprised??  I know all you married woman in blog land put in your profiles how wonderful your husbands are, but I think we all know for the most part if they were faced with a 3 page email from this woman, his eyes would be glazed over by the second sentence.  It is just a lot of "wah wah er wi wer wa" you know the sound of the teacher on the Peanuts?  It is what it sounds like.  Now granted I have not proved this scientifically but I do think I am on to something.

Next up is the biotch who called me at home during the day when I was working.  Yes, it is hard to believe for some people that when I say I work from home full time that I ACTUALLY work. I told someone that I needed to go and get back to work and she said, "Yeah, go back to work, I'm just a stay at home mom and your job is so important." Well guess what boitch? It is cause it pays my freaking mortgage!

Next up...a friend request on Facebook. Yes, sounds innocent enough right? Well not if it is your ex-boyfriend from High School who among other things threatened to burn my house down back in the day!

(Now I realize I may be disclosing WAY too much info but it is my blog, my rules.  If you don't like to watch a train wreck, now is the time to look away.)  Well, he sends me a freaking friend request.  Now I dated him for 2 1/2 very difficult years and was finally able to break it off with him a few months in to my freshman year of college.  It is crazy, this was 25 years ago and in the past 3 hours since I got that tool's friend request I keep remembering things...my first memory when I realized I was in an abusive relationship was on Christmas my senior year of high school.  I had been at his house all day and wanted to go home, his family was weird and his mother cooked the worst turkey.  Oh surprise, he didn't want me to go home so the crap starts outside in front of his house.  Me trying to leave, him stopping me.  Keep in mind I am 5'8" but he was 6'3". I finally got away from him and I started yelling at him.  I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was yelling and swearing, swearing a lot.  The police came, there was a tussle with my boyfriend, his brothers and the police, yes memories for the scrapbook for sure.  When all was said and done and the police had the situation under control I just wanted to get out of there.  As I was leaving his father said to me,"Young lady, I can tolerate a lot of things but I can't tolerate swearing from a lady." You could have knocked me over with a feather... I should have ran, but that is not what a lot of women and young girls do who are in relationships that are abusive.  I heard from my boyfriend's family that he had a seizure disorder and that is why he would get violent, "he couldn't help it." The worse thing I could remember was he would squeeze my face.  Even the thought of it know makes me so angry now, something I had really forgotten about.
 
I was once dragged across a highway and often went (unwillingly)on suicide rides when he thought I was going to break up with him, he thought we should die together.  He was a coward and was just trying to use fear to keep me.

The night he called and said he was going to burn our house down, was the night he dragged me by my hair across a divided 4 lane road.  The police came, they took him in to custody and I had my mom's car and went home.  The phone range and my mother had picked up the phone since back in 1985, there were no cell phones and when our phone rang at 2am, everyone in the house knew it, she heard what he had said to me on the other line.  Obviously she called the police, the police were surprised since he apparently made that phone call as the one call he was allowed by the police!!  I wish I could say that was the end of our relationship but it wasn't.  It went on until I was strong enough, far enough away from him and felt safe that he wouldn't come after me.


There is a happy ending...though I did kiss a few more frogs, I have never been in another abusive relationship.  I am married to a great guy and have never looked back, at least until that friend request earlier this evening. I don't plan on looking back again and will say an extra prayer of thanks to whoever was looking down on me during those dark days.

I hope this wasn't a buzz kill for anyone, but I sure feel better!

Friends don't let friends blog buzzed...

OK bloggers...it is Friday night...I am a few cocktails into it and I am amazed how some relationships can totally suck the life out of you. I am very happy I have kept my blog on the DL, I've got some stuff to get off my chest. 

I have had some very dysfunctional friendships.  I love Janie Fox's blogs of what she knows for sure and I love Reality Jayne's bullet style so I am going to try to do it chick style...what I have learned from the whacked out chicks that have come, gone and still remain in my life.

1. My friend married a man who I think kept a secret.  I think he is gay. She had her own secrets of an enormous debt that she didn't tell him about.  I knew about these secrets before they got married less than 2 years ago.  I couldn't find the words to say anything.  They are getting divorced.  What I learned...try to redirect traffic when you see a train wreck about to happen. I have no idea how to do that yet, but I am going to work on it.

2. I had a friend for 22 years.  I saw her once a month for dinner with another friend, for 22 years.  When John McCain named Sara Palin as his running mate I said that I liked the idea of someone in a high office that I can identify with and who can identify with my life more than most of the men who are messing our country up over pride and a refusal to compromise.  That was the last dinner we had together.  She has never spoken to me since, even after I have tried to reach out to her...nothing.  What I learned...she is a very mean person, no but seriously...I learned that people are very effected by the political environment during their early adult years. We are from 2 different generations and she couldn't accept a different view.

3. I got into a fight today with a good friend. It was a big fight.  I think I have only fought with my sister that way and the last time I fought with my sister that way was 20 years ago.  I am not a yeller at friends...kids, yes I will yell at them all day...friends, no that is just not how I roll.  I say it like I see it and have no problem with that.  The problem is that other people who don't have the balls to do the same blame you for their inability to say it like it is.  Because this friend couldn't say things to my face, she did a bunch of undermining passive aggressive stuff to get the result that she wanted, just without having to talk to me about because she says she can't do that.  She says she is a people pleaser, well I can tell you something...I was not pleased getting yelled at!  She doesn't want this fight to effect our relationship...hmmm.  What I learned...she is freaking crazy if she thinks that this won't effect our friendship.  She is selling crazy and I am not in the market.

4.  This brings me to important life lesson that I need to remind myself.  Stop trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.  This is the crux of my problem.  I have and have had friendships with crazy women.  My issue is I am loyal to a fault.  I will keep on keeping on with these friendships.  I will feel like I failed when it goes bad. What I learned...look at the fact that they were crazy and the failure was inevitable.

5.  Friends should not yell at friends unless they are literally smoking crack or doing other crazy shit!