Just Say No...and see what happens.

Small miracles happen... like this hydrangea...it was buried under 6' of snow after our New England winter snowfall, then getting all the snow from the snow blower.  I didn't think I would see one bloom...it had other plans(thankfully)

Anywho...back to the blog...

The slogan as I remember it was "Just say no." Well I did.

I said "no" to my mother in law.

To clarify I said "no"to my husband about my MIL coming for the weekend.

I just couldn't do it again...she would be here from Friday afternoon through Tuesday.

Keeping in mind that from Sunday to Monday we have no children at home.

My husband is the baby of 6. When he was 8 his mom "checked out" for a while. He doesn't talk about it, I hear bits and pieces about it from his family, including his mother.  Being the youngest I think made it really difficult.  He missed out on the things that made his family the family they were(for better or worse).  I think that early experience had a big effect on him, how could it not.  

His mother was remarried and her husband became very sick.  She cared for him for 10 years until he passed this last November.  After that time, we didn't want her to be alone and wanted to help her through the holidays.  She stayed with us every weekend from before Thanksgiving through New Years.  I didn't mind at all.  It was wonderful to have her and share the season with her as she found her way in a new life alone. 

The visits slowed, but didn't stop and then picked up speed again. I do love my MIL, but she can be tough.  There is always a comment for something and she does know everything.  Just an example...I struggle with my weight and so do members of my family.  When my son was a baby and I was breastfeeding, he was a plump little one.  She said to me,"I breastfeed some of my babies but they never were like that, but they didn't have the fat gene." I swear I didn't even know what to say at the time.  It wasn't the first time and not the last of her comments.  She is also one that seems uncomfortable with silence and will fill quiet with her constant chatter.

So as I blogged earlier, work is not good and it isn't getting better.  I really needed this 3 day weekend to recover.  My man for the first time in a long time was not only on a different page, but a different chapter.  I asked him that his mother not come.  He had been upset about it since.  He isn't a mamma's boy, he is the fixer.  In my opinion(in a non-trained layman's analysis) he has been trying to fix things since they fell apart when he was 8. I think he wants to show what a family should be.

I worry when we have fundamental differences like this.  It shakes me to the core.  We have always been such a strong team, together 20 years.  We had a conversation, it wasn't pretty.  I held my ground, I had to. After about an hour of weeding the garden he came back in and apologized, thankfully.

It wasn't so much the apology I needed...I needed to know that we are back one the page, that we are good...and we are.

It is days like this that I am very happy to have an anonymous blog...

It was the best of times it was...

the Sunday night and the end of school vacation week.  I do love my boys, don't get me wrong, but a girl needs some SPACE!  I love it when my boys are on vacation, it means I get to sleep late(yippee!) Working from home, I don't have to start until 8:15.  When you work from home, you don't even need to brush your teeth (if you are really tight on time) before you log on to start the day.  The only person in my office is Ginger(my dog) and she doesn't mind, as long as I keep the milk bones a commin'.  When school is in, that  means up at the ungodly time of 5:50am.  I took Thursday and Friday off last week and took my boys into Boston. We had a great time, cannolis from Mike's in the North End, a ride on the swan boats, tour of the state house.  We even got to go to the 30th floor of the Custom House to see the Peregrine Falcon that nests there sitting on her 4 eggs(hello to my second latest addiction, web cams of birds, I swear that web cam of those eagles is like crack to me!  I just can't get off of it.  Now I have a new addiction as we watch for the falcon chicks to hatch in the next few weeks.) Again, great trip into beantown, but no escape/break from my boys.  Did not really feel like the mini vacation I was hoping for.  To top things of, though I work from home, my main office is in Boston, of which we had a view of out of our hotel window, again not exactly the break from work I was hoping for.  Cut to today. At my mom and dad's for a nice Easter dinner with the fam.  My sister asked(maybe because she knew not to assume) if I wanted to sit with my boys at one table or with the adults at the other table.  Oh surprise, surprise, I said "No I don't want to sit with the boys." I believe I was getting ready to accept the bad mother of the year nomination and ya know what?  I don't really care!  I was with them 24-7 for the past 3 days and now they are all hopped up on Easter candy and the endless supply of Mountain Dew my mother supplies to them on holidays, you bet your ass I don't want to sit with them!  Now it is 10pm and they have crashed hard after winding down with a little Swamp People I had on the DVR(I can't get me enough of them Swamp People).  They will be totally Jonsing for some chocolate tomorrow and I say good luck to that... Mommy is starting the Dukan diet tomorrow and she is cleaning house!  Nite, nite time for me...5:50am comes too quick for this tired chick.