Friday, October 21, 2011

Friends don't let friends blog buzzed...Volume 2

Good Evening Babes in Blog Land...Why the buzz? Why Volume 2? and why tonight?

It has been one hell of a week!  I broke a tooth, a perfectly good one that was just minding its' business until I tried having a 'healthy' snack and bit into an almond.

During my tooth repair I was being bombarded on my Blackberry from one major pain in my ass and a second fairly big pain in my ass!  I do not like to put a certain group of people in one category and forget about them.  I have tons of good friends who are stay at home moms that aren't crazy, but I am dealing with a few of them in one of the organizations I volunteer for and they are nothing short of freaking crazy.  I have one woman I am dealing with who was asked by a male committee member why an event cost $5.00 per person.  She responded with an effing 3 page dissertation and then sent a follow up email on the subject and was shocked when this man didn't respond! Really now? are we really surprised??  I know all you married woman in blog land put in your profiles how wonderful your husbands are, but I think we all know for the most part if they were faced with a 3 page email from this woman, his eyes would be glazed over by the second sentence.  It is just a lot of "wah wah er wi wer wa" you know the sound of the teacher on the Peanuts?  It is what it sounds like.  Now granted I have not proved this scientifically but I do think I am on to something.

Next up is the biotch who called me at home during the day when I was working.  Yes, it is hard to believe for some people that when I say I work from home full time that I ACTUALLY work. I told someone that I needed to go and get back to work and she said, "Yeah, go back to work, I'm just a stay at home mom and your job is so important." Well guess what boitch? It is cause it pays my freaking mortgage!

Next up...a friend request on Facebook. Yes, sounds innocent enough right? Well not if it is your ex-boyfriend from High School who among other things threatened to burn my house down back in the day!

(Now I realize I may be disclosing WAY too much info but it is my blog, my rules.  If you don't like to watch a train wreck, now is the time to look away.)  Well, he sends me a freaking friend request.  Now I dated him for 2 1/2 very difficult years and was finally able to break it off with him a few months in to my freshman year of college.  It is crazy, this was 25 years ago and in the past 3 hours since I got that tool's friend request I keep remembering things...my first memory when I realized I was in an abusive relationship was on Christmas my senior year of high school.  I had been at his house all day and wanted to go home, his family was weird and his mother cooked the worst turkey.  Oh surprise, he didn't want me to go home so the crap starts outside in front of his house.  Me trying to leave, him stopping me.  Keep in mind I am 5'8" but he was 6'3". I finally got away from him and I started yelling at him.  I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was yelling and swearing, swearing a lot.  The police came, there was a tussle with my boyfriend, his brothers and the police, yes memories for the scrapbook for sure.  When all was said and done and the police had the situation under control I just wanted to get out of there.  As I was leaving his father said to me,"Young lady, I can tolerate a lot of things but I can't tolerate swearing from a lady." You could have knocked me over with a feather... I should have ran, but that is not what a lot of women and young girls do who are in relationships that are abusive.  I heard from my boyfriend's family that he had a seizure disorder and that is why he would get violent, "he couldn't help it." The worse thing I could remember was he would squeeze my face.  Even the thought of it know makes me so angry now, something I had really forgotten about.
 
I was once dragged across a highway and often went (unwillingly)on suicide rides when he thought I was going to break up with him, he thought we should die together.  He was a coward and was just trying to use fear to keep me.

The night he called and said he was going to burn our house down, was the night he dragged me by my hair across a divided 4 lane road.  The police came, they took him in to custody and I had my mom's car and went home.  The phone range and my mother had picked up the phone since back in 1985, there were no cell phones and when our phone rang at 2am, everyone in the house knew it, she heard what he had said to me on the other line.  Obviously she called the police, the police were surprised since he apparently made that phone call as the one call he was allowed by the police!!  I wish I could say that was the end of our relationship but it wasn't.  It went on until I was strong enough, far enough away from him and felt safe that he wouldn't come after me.


There is a happy ending...though I did kiss a few more frogs, I have never been in another abusive relationship.  I am married to a great guy and have never looked back, at least until that friend request earlier this evening. I don't plan on looking back again and will say an extra prayer of thanks to whoever was looking down on me during those dark days.

I hope this wasn't a buzz kill for anyone, but I sure feel better!

5 comments:

Reality Jayne said...

Omg......what a creepo crazy . I can't believe he had the nerve to friend request.".ick

Bee Lady said...

Did you accept his request? Just kidding!!!! Thank God you got out of that relationship. scary.

Theresa said...

I, personally, like your blog rules! There is a lot to be learned from these situations.

First of all, I completely agree about the dissertation on the $5 event. Heck, I wouldn't even read it and I am a woman. My husband would just delete it! lol.

And as for people with an attitude about your work--seriously! Sounds like they have some issues to work out on their own!

As for the ex-boyfriend, I applaud you for sharing. My husband is from an abusive family and I have often considered sharing on here. My husband moved out two months before his 18th birthday (as soon as his senior year of high school was over!) and he barely looked back. When I met him, he was 21 and he saw his family for holidays and that was it. I am from a super close family, so I didn't get it. My husband is so gentle and kind, it's amazing what he grew up with. But he always says that he knew he didn't want any part of it. His aunt is the only person in his family we really talk to and she said as a kid, when the shit would hit the fan, if you looked at Jason he was off in his own world. I think that is how he survived it. Anyway, despite his warnings, I let certain members of his family in...and they did a number on me! I was so desperate to have a good family relationship that I let it happen...and it was my husband who continually picked up the pieces and said, "When are you going to listen to me and leave them alone? We are better off without them?" It is such a hard lesson to learn. I am so glad that you were able to be strong enough to get away from it....for me, it's been almost two years, but it is hard. I think about his family often and hope they are ok, but they all hate me now that I put boundaries up and have made it clear that I intend to keep them...not easy!

Nicole said...

This reminded me of this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtF_eOwvtkY

What a creep.

the cake chick said...

Thanks for all of your feedback. Sometimes I wonder if I should post something or not. I'm glad I did I feel so much better.

Theresa - Ugh is all I can say. It is so hard to come to terms with the way families can be when you came from something different. Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel better to hear other peoples' struggles.

Nicole - That song fits to a 'T'!