OK bloggers...it is Friday night...I am a few cocktails into it and I am amazed how some relationships can totally suck the life out of you. I am very happy I have kept my blog on the DL, I've got some stuff to get off my chest.
I have had some very dysfunctional friendships. I love Janie Fox's blogs of what she knows for sure and I love Reality Jayne's bullet style so I am going to try to do it chick style...what I have learned from the whacked out chicks that have come, gone and still remain in my life.
1. My friend married a man who I think kept a secret. I think he is gay. She had her own secrets of an enormous debt that she didn't tell him about. I knew about these secrets before they got married less than 2 years ago. I couldn't find the words to say anything. They are getting divorced. What I learned...try to redirect traffic when you see a train wreck about to happen. I have no idea how to do that yet, but I am going to work on it.
2. I had a friend for 22 years. I saw her once a month for dinner with another friend, for 22 years. When John McCain named Sara Palin as his running mate I said that I liked the idea of someone in a high office that I can identify with and who can identify with my life more than most of the men who are messing our country up over pride and a refusal to compromise. That was the last dinner we had together. She has never spoken to me since, even after I have tried to reach out to her...nothing. What I learned...she is a very mean person, no but seriously...I learned that people are very effected by the political environment during their early adult years. We are from 2 different generations and she couldn't accept a different view.
3. I got into a fight today with a good friend. It was a big fight. I think I have only fought with my sister that way and the last time I fought with my sister that way was 20 years ago. I am not a yeller at friends...kids, yes I will yell at them all day...friends, no that is just not how I roll. I say it like I see it and have no problem with that. The problem is that other people who don't have the balls to do the same blame you for their inability to say it like it is. Because this friend couldn't say things to my face, she did a bunch of undermining passive aggressive stuff to get the result that she wanted, just without having to talk to me about because she says she can't do that. She says she is a people pleaser, well I can tell you something...I was not pleased getting yelled at! She doesn't want this fight to effect our relationship...hmmm. What I learned...she is freaking crazy if she thinks that this won't effect our friendship. She is selling crazy and I am not in the market.
4. This brings me to important life lesson that I need to remind myself. Stop trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. This is the crux of my problem. I have and have had friendships with crazy women. My issue is I am loyal to a fault. I will keep on keeping on with these friendships. I will feel like I failed when it goes bad. What I learned...look at the fact that they were crazy and the failure was inevitable.
5. Friends should not yell at friends unless they are literally smoking crack or doing other crazy shit!