Thursday, September 29, 2011

It's that time again...

It is amazing how things can be going along swimmingly and then someone puts a hole in you inner tube.

She isn't even here yet, after a well needed reprieve of a few months, but the MIL is due to arrive tomorrow for the weekend.

I felt I needed to lay some forgotten ground rules with my man to which he responded...ummm...not great and not super receptive. Here are my rules...I am shouting it out to the universe in hopes that the planets will align and it will all be good(and so my mother in law won't make me crazy.) 

Now before I get into my list I have a big shout out to the only person who reads my blog and knows me in the real world.  She has taken a hop across the pond to become a mother in law this very weekend.  I know that she will be a fabulous MIL and I sending my best wishes to her and the happy couple.  I am sure her fascinator will be fascinating!  Can't wait to hear all about it!

so now to follow is my guidelines to a successful weekend visit from the mother in law:

1. She does not discipline my children when I am there to do it.

2. She doesn't touch my laundry since we have just gotten all of our socks and jeans straightened out since the last time she was here and put cloths away in the wrong dressers.

3. Oh yeah, she STAYS OUT of any dressers.  (I have a 14 year old boy, she doesn't need to be going in his dresser! Privacy please!)

4. She doesn't open her big mouth to interject when I am conversing with my husband.  If I ask my husband a question she butts right in and makes up excuses or explanations for him...gee I don't know how we have made it these 18 years without her butting before now?

5. She doesn't make back handed and/or passive aggressive comments.  (I will have a list for you all on Monday cause she really can't help herself)

6. She doesn't wear her ridiculous wooden clunky shoes and clunk and shuffle around on all of my hard wood floors.

7. She doesn't cram my splenda container full of her rat poison cancer causing sweet n' low that she bring from her house.

8. She doesn't come into MY bedroom when I am sleeping because she thinks it is time to get up.

9. Now even though she knows everything about everything, just for me she won't let on that she knows everything about everything.

10. AND she makes sure there is at least a cup of coffee left for me in the morning.

Now is this too much to ask?

Please understand that these rules were developed in response to the crazy shit my MIL has done, I didn't just make this up to be a pain in the ass.

ahhhhh, I feel so much better.  Bring it on and heaven help us.


Reality Jayne said...

i read your blog ....WHen I read the one about her waking you up in the AM........"Nuuuuu Uhhhhh!"

Mommie Dearest Strikes Again said...

Good Grief! Wow!

I'm speechless and you definitely have my sympathy! I'll keep my fingers crossed and be praying for you...good luck!!

Nicole said...

Oooh, sounds like she's a TREAT. I'm going to visit my inlaws next week, god help us all. I have a pimple on my jawline, if it's still there next weekend my MIL is sure to comment on it extensively.

Denise said...

I take it from this post that your blog is still a "secret"...ha ha

Good luck with the MIL...sounds like you are going to need it.

a1axelady said...

My MIL is trying also. The last month or so she has been going over the top to try and be my friend. Just makes me wonder what she is up to and the underlying motives for that are. You have my sympathy and I hope she behaves herself and things go well. Though people are usually who they are.